i'm not deleting my account, but i don't think i'm going to be chronicling life for a while on here, i'd rather do it on paper for now...

wow haven't updated in a while. not that this post will be much of anything. just a mere post to make myself feel better about not posting. La was awesome, again. love it out there. love that i can go for just a weekend.
I can't believe that school is almost over. 2 more weeks of classes, home in 3 weeks. very very strange. if this is how fast college goes by.. jesus it's going to fly by. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself for three long months at home. hopefully a job or two can keep me occupied. this laundry is staring at me. i don't want to do my laundry. i didn't sleep much on the plane and i would love to take a nap right now. martin sheen is coming to school tonight to talk about i have no fucking idea what but i'm bringing a camera because i want a picture regardless.

this post is purely for my own benefit for i need to get my life in order...Just disregard

THIS WEEK:

tuesday 18th...
9:55am - mass media (ipods, radio, getting mid term back. for next time, print newseum response!)
12:45pm - math (nothing due today, but let know about the 10th, also... midterm on friday!!)
2:10pm - pop culture (unprepared for peer review, have mac essay for next class)
...break till 6:45pm...
6:45pm - american society (nothing due, caffeine before class!)

wednesday 19th...
7am - wait in line with chad and lauren for concert tix till 10am
(at some point between 11am and 3pm, get to bloomies for application in person.)
3:30pm - tutoring in tenley (be on shuttle by 3:15pm)
~seeing joe possibly??
9pm - movie screening for House of Sand & Fog in the library for tomorrow's night class

thursday 20th...
call daniel about housing papers.
11:20am - anthro class (nothing due, you're good)
(at some point, lunch/gym/shower)
6:45pm - american society
...start working on professionalizing interview tonight!! ALSO, MATH MIDTERM TOMORROW!

friday 21st...
12:45pm - math midterm
2:10pm - pop culture (have essay finished for "workshop" in class)
tonight - out to dinner for jeanie and gwen's bday??

other things TO-DO...
- print flight/super shuttle information
- let tom know about kel coming
- revise & hand in downfall paper for pop culture
- deposit money in the bank (chevy chase account)
- put kel's itunes gift card onto your account

it's weird to think that i will be incapable of doing this entry an hour from now from being so heavily medicated.
oh yeah and ABC didn't work out. i am NOT working at hco again hahaa

march 3rd.

from today until the end of freshman year, i'm hitting the gym every day

Joe prompted me to update. i said i would and i never got around to it so here we go... pictures and everything.

there was like one night day a few weeks back so a bunch of us went into the city to walk around. i found this on a street corner had to take a picture...



then celia and i branched off and went to the liquor store after a while but before we left, we took this picture. i love it.




got a few bottles for when kelly was coming (the following week!) and went back to campus... uneventful following week, kelly came on thursday morning and left 11 days later!

kelly's visit:

she came on valentine's day and we went to rock creek, a restaurant about 5 floors above street level in the middle of town so we had a really nice view. on the table was a candle and kelly was warming her hands and i noticed that it formed a heart.



one of the first nights, we went out for celia's birthday to a club in chinatown. sooo much fun. it was really cool because kelly, ryan, ANDD brian were here all at the same time so another night, the three couples went out to dinner and it was really really nice to be around other, well.. couples haha. we had a great time.

one of the nights we were in the hotel, both kelly and bella got sick. the dog was like really lethargic and sleepy and not her typical peppy self. i got worried but we assumed she was just not used to her new food. she ended up falling asleep on kelly, which yielded my favorite picture i've ever taken:



on the 23rd, i gave kelly her christmas present, i got her spice girls tickets and the seats were so much closer than i thought when i bought them! she had a great time and it was surprisingly a really entertaining show. and i got to see victoria beckham. in real life. in person.



on saturday night, we ended up taking the dog to the animal hospital and then i took kel to the georgetown university emergency room after we dropped off the dog. bella had a low blood sugar count and they kept her overnight, monitoring her fluids and all that good stuff. when we went to the ER, there was a handcuffed black man sitting next to us and i just HAD to document, it was too good to pass up.



turns out kelly had an enflamed part of her intestines which was the reason she was having stomach pains. i felt horrible about putting her through all those tests, but I'm glad it wasn't something else...
besides the hospitals for both bella and kel, we had a great almost 2 weeks together!

big update coming soon!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!

after 5.5 hours in the library staring at the wall with only my green tea and notebook, this is the result. possibly the dumbest essay i have ever written... enjoy!

A Fallen Star: The Downfall of Britney Spears

In our celebrity-obsessed world, those striving for fame and fortune often realize there may be a price they have to pay. However, for the select few that are overexposed to the point of manic mayhem, this realization is not enough to prevent their destined downfall. Britney Spears personifies this idea because she was America’s sweetheart when she first burst onto the music scene. Since that time almost nine years ago, she has sold more than 83 million records worldwide, has been at the helm of five successful album tours that have sold out stadiums around the globe, has gone through two public marriages and divorces, given birth to two handsome, yet unplanned baby boys, and has recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on a 24 hour suicide watch. From the constant scrutiny by the media, her deteriorated music career, and more recently the revoking of her right to spend time with her own children, Britney Spears is the epitome of today’s fallen star.
Taking a step back, the obsession and idolization of famous people tells us things about our way of life that we might have been blind to in the past. For one, it shows that we are an extremely unhappy culture. To look to another person’s life in an effort to escape the realities of one’s own life is a sad thing, yet exceedingly common. Many choose to spend their days “living” vicariously through the life of their favorite star or media magnet. How we hang onto every last word of a story that the media throws at us is embarrassing. In addition, celebrities in the 21st century not only serve as a distraction from our lives, but they are very much apart of our lives as well. According to a study in Britain done in 2006, “today's kids are more likely to name teen celebrities as heroes than kids were a decade ago, when children tended to admire their parents and other family members”. “Stars have become heroes, role models, and modern-day gods” (Idols).
On the other hand, “star-gazing” as many like to refer to it, is practiced by those who look up to these iconic people as inspiration to push them through hard times in their own lives. For example, Oprah Winfrey is revered in the female and African-American community because she came from a poverty-stricken town in the south, enduring sexual and racial abuse, only to become the richest woman in the entertainment industry. Lance Armstrong publicly battled testicular cancer, beat it, and then went on to win the Tour De France a record-breaking seven times. He is now a hero to many people around the globe. These people are just a few of the numerous well-known icons that stand for leadership, fascination, and a very large following to boot.
People love to think about Britney Spears, and celebrities in general for that matter, yet they don’t know how or what to think about them. In a recent article by Carlin Flora for Psychology Today, she mentions that “celebrities are both our intimate daily companions and as distant as the heavens above, it’s hard to know just how to think of them”. And she is right. We know the ins and outs of Lindsey Lohan’s love life, the status of Paris Hilton after her release from jail a few months ago, and we speculate whether or not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ relationship is a hoax. Because we feel so close to the stars, we sympathize with them, which leads people into the mindset that they “know” them and have to right to outwardly pass judgment or go as far as running up to them on the street. At that point is when the lines begin to get crossed.
Britney Spears, more specifically, provides us with an icon that we as Americans hoist up onto a platform and proceed to poke and prod until they crack. As young as she is, Spears unfortunately craves the undying attention that we bestow upon her and then has to face the consequences of mental instability and the perpetual fear of trust. Jonathan Durbin makes note of the fact that “While it seems silly to believe a star's foibles can offer fans a sort of redemption, it nevertheless appears to be the guiding principle behind celebrity worship. Their public faults mirror our private fears. If their lives provide allegories for our own, it's little wonder that their biographies should be of equal or greater importance than their work itself. It's unfortunate, but that's the way pop culture works. And we reward our public figures for ugly behavior, whether it's a publicity stunt or an episode of acting out. The allure of the limelight is so strong, in fact, that desire for it seems to have trumped shame”.
Whatever the outcome of her existence may be, she didn’t always act in such an unruly manner. Growing up in rural Kentwood, Louisiana, Spears was raised in a family with both parents, as well as a younger sister, Jamie-Lynn, and an older brother, Brian. She had a normal, American childhood until she landed herself on the Mickey Mouse Club in 1992. From that point on, she rose to definitive stardom in front of the camera. Like most celebrities, she was greeted with kind words and praise when she became famous, but after years of bad press, she is now known more for her outlandish behavior than what she originally became legendary for: her music. The constant media that are literally in her face 24/7 negatively impacts Spears. In addition, she still is a role model for young girls all over the world.
Even while her image has been severely tainted, people still look up to her whether she likes it or not simply because she used to be the universal definition of American beauty. Also, she wasn’t the trashy Pamela Anderson-esque “beauty” that was splashed all over our sex-crazed society back in the 90’s. Britney Spears was different. She symbolized something that we hadn’t seen a long time: young, vivacious, yet tame and classic American sex appeal. In her first music video with the catholic schoolgirl attire, she owned that look for years to come. She single-handedly stirred up the fashion industry with the new trend of the midriff-baring top. That alone is one of many examples of her impact on the “tween” world. Even lately, she still has followers. One little girl that stands out in particular would be her sister. Jamie-Lynn’s pregnancy is a perfect example of Britney’s destructive new image rubbing off on a younger generation. When Britney had two unplanned children in 2004 and 2006, her sister saw that she was a young mom and it was “acceptable” by her fans. Therefore, at the tender age of 16, America learns that little Jamie-Lynn is not only sexually active, but is expecting in a mere seven months. Coincidence? Not likely.
In my opinion, it is the media’s fault that Britney Spears has come crashing down so hard. For example, when Spears shaved her head, she was trying to rid herself of negative energy and it was her attempt to “start over”. Throughout her custody battle with Kevin Federline, every one of her actions was magnified to the point of absurdity and the American public only made it worse. It matters when she gets involved in these types of everyday conundrums because it gives the tabloids something to publish and gossip for chats around the water cooler. Unfortunately, people thrive on it. It just seems strange because the common man gets divorced and has custody battles every day, but because it was Britney Spears, the story trumped the primetime news each night. In hindsight, reporters should have been covering more relevant topics such as the war on Iraq or the upcoming presidential race.
Britney Spears is such a cultural force in American society because of her background. People first came to know her as a southern belle with an affinity for music and selling millions of albums. Because that was our first impression of her, it stuck. Perhaps it is the combination of the downward spiral of our American beauty that intrigues us. As a pop culture nation, we built Britney up to break Britney down. Sadly, it is our fault that the pitiable girl ended up this way and now, she is the one to pay the toll of overexposure while we sit back, popcorn in hand, and watch her unravel faster than she can crank out a new hit single. I still find it humorous when people are shocked to see this little girl that we grew to love now traipsing around West Hollywood, being more irresponsible than ever. People from her “inner circle” have been shut out, including her manager, assistants, bodyguards, and even her own parents until recently. It is a crucial time for her to have strong people around her who can support and guide her and the fact that the paparazzi are the closest people to her right now says something about the situation at hand. She is crying for help and the only attention she is getting is from the media. This is ironic because it is the same attention that she set out to claim many years ago, only now, the interest she is getting is bathing her in a negative light, ruining any possibility of a musical comeback.
The population of people that feed off of the tabloid magazines, religiously check PerezHilton.com, and watch TMZ on television is growing and it is fascinating to take a look at the trends. Britney was cherished back when her career was taking off because the media told us to embrace her. When people began to question the starlet’s decision-making when she chose Kevin Federline, a backup dancer, as her future husband, they only judged because the media told them to judge. For all we knew (and now we do know), Federline turned out
to be an outstanding parental figure by comparison, but because the media labeled him as a loser, so did America. It is getting to the point where people can’t even make their own decisions and judgments because all they do is hear the slandering gossip about celebrities from the wonderful tabloid sources and run with it. What we should begin to do is take all information with a grain of salt. Stop passing judgment because the media tells us to. Our society no longer has a mind of it’s own. In its place is the voice of Ryan Seacrest reporting for E! News Live telling us how trampy Britney has gotten. And we believe him.
The American public feed off of the media that generates money in the long run. In a way, this type of exposure is a vicious circle that has done nothing but damage Spears. She and her public meltdowns are meaningful to examine because we as a culture love fantasy and distractions and after all, “distraction is just a synonym for entertainment” (Durbin).

so my birthday came up really fast. i always correlate christmas and my birthday and the gap in between. it seemed really small this year for whatever reason. i guess my birthday "festivities" began this past weekend when my family came to DC to take me out to dinner. it was such a short period of time i literally spent maybe 2 hours with them so that sucked. i've been checking the mail periodically these past few days because i love getting letters. i checked before my class this morning and saw nothing then i checked again after class and there were 5 letters waiting for me! one from my parents, one from shirn, one from my uncle, one from my grandma, and one from jaclyn. an amex card from my parents, a check from grandma, a whole foods card from my uncle, and the nicest note from jaclyn after the one in my yearbook. i saved hers for last because she always knows what to say and i wanted to end on a high note. she pointed out something that i didn't realize. I'm 19 tomorrow. it's my first birthday away from home and my last birthday as a teenager and it was so strange to come to that realization. i remember so well when i was 12 and thinking ohmygod I'm going to be a TEENAGER next year... and ill never be a teenager again. that's weird.

tomorrow night is tuesday night, the night we go out so i guess it worked out that my birthday fell on a tuesday. the thing is, it's also marti gras so people won't be thinking about it as a night out for my birthday, but instead about it being fat tuesday. oh well, that's just me being selfish. linda is making me a pumpkin pie because its my favorite and i don't like cake and she is the floor mom so thanks lindoo haha.i think the plan is to either go to ultrabar or andalu, both are having marti gras parties tomorrow night so it's a toss up as of now!

kelly had that tragic, tragic puppy incident at the end of last week so she decided to DRIVE to texas to pick up a new dog with natalie in tow. i was opposed to the idea at first because it was the dumbest thing i have ever heard but it was also spontaneous and i love spontaneity. i should do more things like that. anywho, she got the dog, Bella Rose, and is currently driving back to LA as I type. the dog is adorable and i can't wait to meet her on valentine's day!

i keep putting off this essay because all i want to do is think about my birthday tomorrow because i won't any time tomorrow to think about anything besides my classes. kill mee. let's just do a quick rundown...ON MY BIRTHDAY, i have a group presentation on the hollywood writer's strike in my mass media class, i have an 8 page paper on the downfall of britney spears due in my pop culture nation class, my math assignment is due tomorrow and OH YEAH i have my night class. by the time that i'll have time to enjoy my day, it will be over so in a sense, i'm doing all my happy thinking today.